Being able to ask for help
No matter how good we are at bouncing back, there are some things in our lives that we need help with. And getting help makes everything a lot easier.
But knowing when we need help and being able to ask for it - the right sort of help from the right person - is a skill.
This how to guide is here to give you some ideas on how to develop the skill of asking for help when you need it.
Realising you need help
If there’s a move you want to try but you’re not sure how to get started - or you keep finding things blocking your path - ask yourself these questions:
Does this move depend on someone else? Maybe it can’t be done without their help.
Would it help to talk to someone with deeper experience? People who have done things before have a goldmine of knowledge you can tap into.
Would support from someone who believes in you help? Maybe someone who has encouraged you in the past or helped you get past a challenge.
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, or even maybe, it’s time to get brave and ask for some help.
Make your move
What do you need help with?
Before you start asking for help, be sure you understand exactly what you need help with.
What am I trying to achieve?
Why am I trying to achieve this?
What am I finding hardest about doing this?
Now you know what you need help with you’ll be able to explain it more clearly when you ask for help.
Find the right person to help you
Part of the skill of asking for help is finding the right person to help you. Look at what it is you need help with. Now make a list of all the people who might be able to help. Not everyone will have the right experience or situation to help you.
So make a shortlist - three people you definitely want to ask for help with this - and get asking. Set up a time to talk to them, perhaps on a regular basis, so you can keep up the conversation and let them know how you are getting on.
Help people to help you
Sometimes when we ask for help we get advice or suggestions that aren’t what we want to hear. Or sometimes the help isn’t as helpful as we’d hoped it would be.
Don’t let this get in the way of your goal. Take time to talk to the person who is helping you and let them know:
What was helpful.
What you found difficult.
What didn’t help.
What you need help with next.
And if it still isn’t working, go back to your list of people and find someone else who might be able to help.