Dealing with tricky situations and people
Wouldn’t it be nice if nothing bad ever happened in life and everyone we met was kind and helpful? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Some things are just out of our control. And some people just aren’t a good influence in our lives.
Being able to deal with tricky situations and people is an important skill to learn if we’re going to get really good at bouncing back.
This how to guide is here to give you some ideas on ways to deal with the situations and people that are holding us back in life.
Plan
Step 1:
Make a plan and keep it simple
Taking on tricky situations and people can be a big challenge, so take it step by step.
Work out what your ultimate goal is and then think about the small steps you could take to get there.
For example, your goal might be: I want to stop getting involved in fighting at school. Reaching that goal might involve trying out some or all of these small steps:
- Find ways to spend less time with the people who start the fights or make me angry.
- Give myself something else to do at the time when fights happen, for example something I enjoy or am good at.
- Talk to a teacher about what I’m trying to do and why.
- Start spending more time with people who don’t get involved in the fights.
This is just an example. Work out what your big goal is and then think about what the small steps are and write them down. A journal is a good place to do this.
Make your move
Step 2:
Be brave and start making changes
Keep things really simple and take your time. But get started on making the changes.
This is a tough one, but avoiding harmful friendships and situations has the potential to give you one of the biggest boosts to your happiness. That’s got to be worth it.
If you’re worried about fallout, try reducing your contact little by little to minimise the risks. And remember to give yourself positive alternatives of ways to spend your time - it’s much easier to avoid a tricky situation or person if you’ve got somewhere better to be and something more interesting to do!
Think
Step 3:
Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it
Sometimes, making changes with relationships or bad situations just seems impossible. Tricky situations and people are much easier to manage when you have some help. Here are some ideas on people you might want to ask to support you:
- A teacher at school - could your teacher change the classroom seating plan without singling you out? Or maybe they can help you join a club or team at school where you can spend positive time?
- An older trusted friend - maybe you know someone, such as a friend or member of the family, who’s a bit older and has been through this sort of thing. Their experience could really help you if you ask for advice.
- The professionals - if you are dealing with a particularly difficult situation, call on the professionals. They are trained and will treat your call in confidence – they won’t talk to anyone else about it.
Learn
Step 4:
Be bold and keep going
Bad habits and negative friendships can have a deep hold on our lives. Sometimes those people and situations don’t want to let go of us. It will take time to move into a more positive space. But it’s really worth it, so don’t let setbacks stop you from bouncing back and making new plans. Keep taking the small steps and keep asking for help. You can do it.