Finding someone to trust and talk to
Through all the help and advice in the Bounce Back programme we often suggest that you’ll find things easier if you ask someone for help.
But who should you trust to ask for help? And how can you find them?
This how to guide is here to give you some ideas on how to find a trusted person to help you on your Bounce Back journey.
Plan
Step 1:
Think about who you might ask for help
When you are trusting someone to help you, you need someone who you can talk to regularly for advice and help. If you’re struggling to think of a person in your life, here are some ideas on who that might be:
They could be an older kid at school or they could be an adult.
If you have an age gap between you and an older brother or sister, they could be great too.
There might be someone in your family - an older aunt, uncle or cousin perhaps?
Teachers and coaches can sometimes be the right person - it depends on the situation.
Make your move
Step 2:
Find someone with the right attitude
Whoever it is, the person you trust to help you needs to have the right attitude towards you and what you are trying to do. They need to be generous to you, and able to put your feelings and hopes at the centre of conversation. You are looking for someone who:
Is trustworthy.
Doesn’t judge.
Is a good listener.
Makes time.
Doesn’t tell you what to do and helps you make your own decisions.
Offers to help you do things you can’t do alone.
Suggests someone who can help if they can’t.
Think
Step 3:
Have the right attitude yourself
The Bounce Back moves we try might scare us or might need us to make lots of smaller moves over a period of time. Some moves will need us to change the way other people act and think – no mean feat! Most people like to be asked to help, but it doesn’t mean they always get it right first time! Help them out!
A trusting relationship will take time to develop. Plan to think about your relationship every couple of weeks: How is it going? Are you doing everything you need to make the relationship work? If not... what do you need to do to improve it? Are you:
Honest?
Clear about what you’d like to talk about?
Weighing up advice you get?
Speaking openly?
Trusting?
Making time for conversations?
Learn
Step 4:
Keep track of your conversations and your progress
If you take a committed approach to the relationship it will help keep things on track. So take time at the beginning to plan how they can be there for you:
When will you chat?
How often?
What types of things will you talk about?
When will you review the relationship?
Finding someone you trust who can help you is a real opportunity to learn and make bouncing back easier. So each time you meet it will be helpful to discuss:
When will we talk again?
What did we decide to do?
How did that go?